Physics and the Fine Art of Hurting Yourself

I just punched myself spectacularly hard in the @$$. Kinda immediately begs the question “how?” doesn’t it? I mean aside from the inherent unwillingness to inflict pain on oneself, how do you do this physics-wise? How far from your @$$ can you get your fist? How do you get sufficient momentum? Well, let me tell you how it happened to me…

I was leaving the house with the dog, ready to go for a walk. And then, just as we were leaving the house, a red squirrel darted under our step so fast and so scared that his precious chestnut was still rolling away as we made our way through the doorway. At this point Max lost his mind and began sniffing every nook and cranny with a sort of crazed excitement usually reserved for kids on Christmas Eve. After a couple minutes I figured that was enough and I prepared to haul the beast away from the sweet, sweet smell of squirrel. Knowing full-well that he was not going to come willingly, I balled my hands up into fists and with both hands, pulled Max away while rotating and ending up with fisted hands behind my butt cheek. Wouldn’t you know that at this point, Max gave up on that squirrel and began walking away. But before I could get going myself, that squirrel came darting out like a bat out of Hell and Max took off at the speed of light sending my fist HARD into my @$$ and spinning me around until the dog was at the end of the leash, the squirrel was laughing heartily from the safety of the nearest tree and I was standing feet straddled, arms extended, stunned and suffering from a sucker punch to the butt cheek.

So, there you have it. I would like to thank the squirrel and my dog, Max; without them this post would not have been possible.

XXXOOO,

Callie