Well friends, I was hoping to be sharing with you a fantastic life hack today. A self tanner made of harmless. inexpensive, natural products that are easy to find and have stood the test of time. Sound too good to be true? “Why, yes!”, you say. And you are correct. Too good to be true. Womp, womp. Disappointing for you and me both but I alone am the one wandering around with legs that are more or less tinted a greenish black colour. You are welcome, I am taking one for the team!
The secret was supposed to be henna. Used for centuries to colour hair and skin as seen in the beautiful bridal mehndi above. Safe, effective and inexpensive! Too bad it didn’t work. It could be perhaps, that I chose the wrong colour. Knowing my skin’s resistance to colour, I went with “chestnut”. Probably a bad choice, but after slathering my legs in green goo and sitting (naked- sorry) in the tub for 20 minutes and then having disastrous results, I’m not rushing head-long into a re-do. Also, if it was the miracle self-tanner, wouldn’t it be ALL OVER pintergram-tok? I should have known…
You see, I am very pale and I don’t really tan that well. I can spend hours in the sun only to turn a slightly off-white colour. Self tanners are okay, but they are a chemical solution that has me trying to decide between radiation, chemicals or glowing white legs. I have spent years in vain waiting for lily-white skin to return to vogue. Remember the perfume “White Shoulders?” Remember Scarlet O’Hara hiding her rough, tanned hands from Rhett? HA! NO! Of course not! Oh no, we remember the Bain de Soleil girl, tan, beautiful and wealthy straddling tigers and sailing the glistening waters of St. Tropez! With the tan now synonymous with wealth and leisure, how can lily-white ever return to fashion??? I dream in vain my friends, in vain…
So, I read a couple techniques on-line, did not read the henna instructions (possible mistake #2); mixed up a green goo and smeared it all over my legs with a spatula (quote from the post I won’t be writing “*helpful tip, use a spatula to apply”). I climbed in the tub and admired my application and began to sing “Defying Gravity” After about 10 minutes I checked the progress. Didn’t seem to be doing anything…re-smoothed green goo. Began singing songs from Kermit’s repertoire. After 20 minutes, I scraped off most of the goo and washed my legs creating a pond scum aesthetic in my tub, cleaned tub, prepared to admire legs. No admiration necessary. Hid legs for one day and then noticed it had faded back to almost white.
So if you are looking for a self-tanner that works for about one day, turns skin a muddy, dirty colour, makes a mess of your tub, takes about 45 minutes with prep and clean up and is natural and cost effective… have I got a recipe for you!
If you enjoyed this post, you might also like Dream a Little Dream With Me or Why I Use Professional Skin Care
xxxooo
Callie